So, I sort of forgot to pick any resolutions for a while, since on New Year’s Eve, I was busy drinking copious amounts of alcohol at a random English pub called The Black Sheep in the middle of the jungle. Seriously, it was built in a house that looked like it could have belonged to Pablo Escobar on the outside but looked like this on the inside: 

Yes, that is a British flag on the ceiling. (And yes, I am drunk in this picture. Here is why: 

I mean HELLO.)

Anyway, I was not really in the correct state of mind to be thinking about my HOPES and DREAMS and GOALS at that moment. But I did have plenty of time to think about them afterwards, such as during my 6 a.m. flight home when I was sandwiched in the back row of the plane between two overweight French Canadians. So here they are:

1. Stop Relying On Seamless Web

It is super easy for people who have to order delivery when they are stuck working late to start relying on delivery all the time. Over the last few years, I’ve definitely fallen into that trap. And look, sometimes I just need sushi, even when I’m sitting in front of my television instead of sitting at the office. But I don’t need delivery sushi (or tacos, or Italian, or whatever The Pump is called now) as often as I’ve been purchasing it. And when I actually have the time to make dinner, there’s something so nice about sitting down to something that I actually created, instead of something that was just brought to me. (Also, it somehow makes drinking with dinner more acceptable, I feel.) So I’m going to cook more often just as a general rule, as well as try to cook like legit MEALS once in a while for The Dude and me. I bought this book, so hopefully that will help. 

2. Try to Lessen The Insanity

When shit starts to hit the fan — at work, at home, at the dry cleaners, wherever — I am one of those people who just loses it. I get like over the top visibly annoyed, and then I start overanalyzing everything, which usually ends up in a freak out or a bitchy attitude or, at the very least, ill-timed alcohol consumption. So I want to focus on trying to just let things go, and not controlling everything, and realize that not everybody in the world is as anal retentive about the weird shit that I’m anal retentive about. I’m not really sure how to go about doing this aside from like, I don’t know, meditating or something, which I’m sure as shit NOT going to do, but I feel like I will just try to deal with these things as they come up. And mentally checking out for a week on vacation was definitely a good start. 

3. Stay In Shape

God, this is such a cliche resolution, isn’t it? But here is something — in preparation for my trip to Costa Rica, and after a complete meltdown involving trying on bikinis in the winter and wanting to slit my wrists with a dressing room mirror, I decided to (literally) get my ass in gear. And I did, privately (mostly because I was terrified that it wouldn’t actually happen and I would fail and GOD online embarrassment is capital T capital W The Worst). I lost about 10 pounds before my trip, which I am still super fucking psyched about. But I want to make sure that I don’t reverse all of my hard work by eating like shit (see #1 above) or by never working out again. It was easy to motivate myself last year, when I had some actual GOALS in mind (fit into the bikinis I already own; be strong enough to prevent a surfing-related death). So to force myself to keep it up, I’ve already signed up for two races: a 4 miler in the beginning of February, and a 10K (A 10K YOU GUYS) in April. I’m totally terrified and feel like it will be a miracle if I even cross the finish line, but that fear was enough to get my ass out of bed at 6:45 this morning to run 4 miles. So, there we go. 

4. Appreciate This City

I don’t do shit anymore, you guys. After I go home from work, I fuck around on the internet and watch TV and maybe go out to a bar or something. I can’t remember the last time I went to a museum or a gallery that wasn’t for some sort of law-related event. I can’t remember the last concert I went to, and I do remember the last play I went to but that’s even more depressing because it was Mary Fucking Poppins. I want to remember where I am, and realize that I might not be here forever, so I should make use of it while I can. 

So there we go! Julia’s New Year’s Resolutions. Keep me accountable, okay, Internet? Thanks in advance.