I almost didn’t wear purple today. Mostly, it was for a practical reason. I have my performance review today, and I didn’t think I had any purple tops that I can wear under a suit as I get fired hear about my achievements over the past 6 months. Law firms aren’t that flashy, clothing-wise, so my suit attire is mostly black, grey, navy, and more black.

But secondly, and this is where people are going to disagree with me, I just don’t think it works. Wearing purple shows solidarity, yes, but solidarity with whom? The people who are going to wear purple today are the people that LGBT youth already know that they can trust. The people who are going to wear purple today are the same people who have been fighting to repeal DADT and to pass gay marriage. But the people who are actually causing the oppression? The bullies and the politicians and the parents who say hateful things to their children? Wearing purple isn’t going to change their mind, and theirs are the minds that must be changed.  

Maybe it will start a dialogue. And you know what, if it does, awesome. If some mean kid sees his teacher wearing purple and asks her why and she explains the bullying and the suicides and everything else, then I suppose it’s worth it. But I just can’t see that happening, or if it does, I just don’t see it being permanent. My brother is gay, and, as incredibly fucked up as my parents are, I can’t imagine any way in which they could have been more supportive of him. He was president of his middle school and high school’s Gay Straight Alliance. He organized Days of Silence, when people who supported gay rights did not speak for an entire school day. He planned vigils on the anniversaries of Matthew Shepard’s death. He did everything he could to make his school an open, tolerant place. And he still got the shit kicked out of him. 

I might just be overly cynical. But to me, a campaign like this is just a flash in the pan. Sure, you can donate your Facebook status, or put a “twibbon” or whatever the hell it’s called on your Twitter avatar, but it doesn’t really do anything. We’re not donating money to LGBT organizations. We’re not helping to get anything done. This isn’t like people buying pink shirts to support breast cancer, because then, money goes somewhere. And I don’t think this is like the beginning of the AIDS crisis either, when wearing a red ribbon could actually inform people of a disease they didn’t know everything about. We’re just trying to, I don’t know, promote awareness, I suppose. But people are aware of these deaths. They know that they happened. The sad thing is, a lot of people just don’t care. And all of the purple blouses and ties in the world can’t change that. 

But then I remembered a purple J.Crew shell sitting in the back of my closet that works under a suit. I put it on and walked out the door. But I hesitated in doing so. I will wear purple today, proudly. If anyone asks (like the partner in my performance review, and please oh please don’t be a homophobe because then I will definitely get fired), I will explain why. But I hesitated because I don’t want people to think that, by wearing purple today, I believe that I’ve done enough. I haven’t. None of us have.