Normally I don’t give any credence to the stereotype that when a woman’s significant other is out of town, she’ll eat some random shitty thing for dinner. I love cooking, I love improving my cooking skills, and more than anything, I love how relaxed I feel cooking something, even if it’s just for myself, after a long day at work. When The Dude goes out of town, I’ll usually try out a new recipe, or cook something that has an ingredient he doesn’t like (eggs, spaghetti squash, etc.). So I always kind of thought that the whole “I’m home alone so I’m going to eat a bunch of weird random shit for dinner” shtick was overrated. 

However, The Dude is in Florida for work this week, and last night my “dinner” consisted of a s’mores pop tart, followed by handfuls of pre-crumbled blue cheese straight out of the plastic tub. 

I totally get it now, you guys. 

What you see in the photo is us — the less than 20 members of the Dominique Ansel Bakery team in our Soho bakery. This is all of us. In the past year, we have woken up daily knowing that our success has made us vulnerable to more malicious attacks than any small, one-shop business should ever have to suffer. But we refuse to believe that we live in a world where success turns people into targets of spite and contempt. We choose instead to believe that it has led us to so many of you, our adoring fans and customers whom have sent your support.
Just beat 2048 and now I am never going to play this fucking game again for the rest of my natural life.

Just beat 2048 and now I am never going to play this fucking game again for the rest of my natural life.

Due to this bitch of a winter and a lack of any sort of beach vacation in over a year, my skin has reached truly translucent levels. Thus, I am in search of a self-tanner that is good for both (a) sensitive skin and (b) people who are as pale as the white walkers I’ve been watching during today’s Game of Thrones marathon. 

Any suggestions?

megwhat:

brianvan:

I just want to take a moment to say, how stupid do ALL the food blogs in New York look now?

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*takes breath*
AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I bet there are at least 20 people still standing in that fucking line though. 

megwhat:

brianvan:

I just want to take a moment to say, how stupid do ALL the food blogs in New York look now?

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

*takes breath*

AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I bet there are at least 20 people still standing in that fucking line though. 

Important professional adult lady lunch. And yes, that is ketchup on my hot dog. Deal with it, Chicago.

Important professional adult lady lunch. And yes, that is ketchup on my hot dog. Deal with it, Chicago.

monkeychow:

"That’s some unoriginal ratchet shit right there.  But at least you know how to have fun…"

"I feel like I’m in Love Actually…"

I TOLD YOU MOTHERFUCKERS THAT MOVIE IS BASIC AS SHIT

I JUST HAD MY FIRST CUP OF COFFEE IN OVER A MONTH

THIS IS HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW

I AM GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD

How last week you snuck cigarettes in the woods in high school; yesterday you were in your college apartment insisting to your roommates that wrapping spices in paper towels and hitting them with a hammer was basically the same as having a mortar and pestle so couldn’t we spend the money on extra vodka for the housewarming instead? Now you have an accountant and a lawyer. You are older than your parents were when you were born. You have shushed young people on the subway. They are making sequels to the sequels they already made to your childhood’s iteration of Star Wars. How being young seemed like a ship sailing into what looked like an endless horizon until suddenly you’d run aground in stronger currents near the opposite shore.
NYC to bring sheep back to Central Park Sheep Meadow

cheesenotes:

image

The Sheep Meadow in Central Park is best known now as a place to bring a book and a blanket, or throw around a frisbee, but there was a time when sheep did in fact graze there, giving the meadow its name. Although today the Park’s largest lawn features sunbathers, it was originally the home to a flock of sheep from 1864 until 1934. The sheep and shepherd were housed in a Victorian building that later became the Tavern on the Green in 1934.

Now comes word that the New York City Department of Parks and Recreation has tentatively approved a plan to convert the Sheep Meadow back into, well, a sheep meadow! Working with the Central Park Zoo, the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation, the American Dairy Council and in collaboration with several upstate sheep dairies, the plan calls for the Sheep Meadow to be used for sheep grazing twice a day, from 5-7AM and from 4-6PM every day, starting May 1st and ending October 1st. The meadow will be closed to public use during this time to protect the sheep, and will be patrolled by a staff of apprentice shepherds working with herding dogs. In addition, a half-mile stretch of the central park loop will be closed to cars, pedestrians and cyclists for 30 minutes, twice a day, to allow for the sheep to be herded back to their barn.

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Best April Fool’s joke I’ve seen so far.

Last night, I ate something that was vegan. VOLUNTARILY. I had the option to add cheese, and I chose not to. This is not an April Fool’s Joke. It was that good. Accordingly, I implore all of you to make Domesticate Me’s Quinoa Green Goddess Bowl with Lemon Tahini Dressing. Do not let the stupidity of the name (I am neither green, nor a goddess) dissuade you. It is worth it. 

Last night, I ate something that was vegan. VOLUNTARILY. I had the option to add cheese, and I chose not to. This is not an April Fool’s Joke. It was that good. Accordingly, I implore all of you to make Domesticate Me’s Quinoa Green Goddess Bowl with Lemon Tahini Dressing. Do not let the stupidity of the name (I am neither green, nor a goddess) dissuade you. It is worth it. 

Yes, Real Simple, please tell me how a recipe for cheese crisps is “similar” to a kale and apple smoothie.  

Yes, Real Simple, please tell me how a recipe for cheese crisps is “similar” to a kale and apple smoothie.  

Signs That I Am Spending This Week In Northern California
  • I wore all black one day and seven different people made comments about it.
  • I wanted to go to an area less than half a mile away from my hotel. When I asked the best route to walk there, the front desk clerk told me that “it was really far” and I “should probably take a cab.”
  • After I said I was set on walking, the same front desk clerk gave me the names of five different iPhone apps that I could use to plan my journey.  
  • I’ve had five conversations about cars so far. Three of them were about Teslas. 
  • When I asked to sit outside one night, a waiter said, “But why? It’s so cold!” It was 55 degrees. 
  • I am eating my weight in fish tacos. 
Dad Things Bracket

pseudosofisticate:

megwhat:

lifeaquatic:

kiss-distinctly-american:

The SB Nation Alternative Brackets are the greatest things.

Oh god I was in meetings all day and missed this, thank you for this existing. 

Guys, honestly, War Books til the end.

"Comcast-issued email address" FTW. Although the real battle was in the final four between "God dammit!" and "Actual slippers".

"Things tucked into jeans" has to win it all, although there is one very glaring omission from this bracket: maps.