February 2012
17 posts
A Couple of Things
Today was the second day in a row that I’ve woken up crying. Not just like weeping a little bit but uncontrollably sobbing. Yesterday, it was because I had a dream that my mom was dead and I had to plan her funeral. Today, I don’t even know what happened, but I just woke up with tears streaming down my face. So, that’s fun. Relatedly, I’m pretty sure The Dude thinks that...
“What sounds the best to you: brownie stuffed chocolate chip cookies, cheesecake...”
– A serious email I just received. Excuse me while I go into a diabetic coma.
“Austin Rivers has a bothersome face and then he fucking winked and the camera...”
– the guilt parade
Austin Rivers is capital T capital W The Worst.
“To pass through Grand Central Terminal, one of New York’s exalted public spaces,...”
– “A Proposal for Penn Station and Madison Square Garden,” from The New York Times.
Yep.
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Things I Do Not Recommend
Reading the article in this week’s New Yorker about Dallas Wiens’ face transplant surgery.
Google image searching “face transplant surgery.”
Doing 1 and 2 when the left side of your face is still completely numb from the cavity you got filled this morning, rendering you completely freaked out about unintentionally chewing through your cheek before the novocaine wears...
“[A]ll parties agree that Proposition 8 had one effect only. It stripped same...”
– Judge Reinhardt, finding Proposition 8 to be unconstitutional.
Fist pumps at my desk, you guys. Read the whole opinion here.
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“The thing about love is that we come alive in bodies not our own.”
– Colum McCann, Let the Great World Spin
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I just ordered a 3 foot long sandwich from JoeDoe...
Each slice of this 3 foot long sandwich will contain one of the following sandwich fixings:
Cubano: roast pork, shoulder bacon, pickles
Brisket: peppercorn and cheddar
Italian: classic meats and cheeses, olive oil
I’m having about 10 people over, and it’s supposed to serve 15-25 people.
All of you can go ahead and highlight the shit out of your own posts, but this is clearly the...
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For this weekend, AND THIS WEEKEND ONLY, I am a...
Want to know why? Check out the bottom left.
Image via ; h/t Meg
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January 2012
40 posts
Today is Phil Collins' birthday, so here is a link... →
Fun facts about Phil Collins and me:
The first concert I ever went to was a Phil Collins concert. I went with my dad. It during the period that Phil was divorcing his second wife, and at one point between songs, he held up his right hand, fingers outstretched, and announced to the audience that “I may be able to fuck my hand, but my hand will never fuck me!” I didn’t get it...
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“Oh but I live in New York. We cannot agree with you more! You do live in New...”
– Every Day Should Be Saturday, The Place Where You Are From Sucks
Sex Ed.
A: I went to a talk about life by the archbishop and now I feel badly for being on birth control.
Me: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? It is the smartest thing in the world that you can do for yourself. Unless you want a child with [guy she's been hooking up with].
A: I guess the real point is, like, don't have sex with people you probably don't want to have a kid with.
Me: Well that's just unrealistic.
A: Yeah. I can't have a child with him anyway. We're not Facebook friends. Plus he's Protestant from Northern Ireland. The only thing worse than that is the British.
Me: I think you are okay reserving judgment on whether to have a child with him until you are officially Facebook friends, religion aside.
A: Thanks.
A Fine Frenzy, Electric Twist
I didn’t NOT...
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Serious Question
Is there a travel website where you can say “I don’t know where I want to go but I am leaving from this location and I have these days to travel and I want to spend this much money on my flight,” and then it gives you different destination options for your price range?
(If not, I am TOTALLY calling dibs on this idea for after I finish up with this whole lawyer thing.)
But for...
umcanyounot asked: Would you rather be a lawyer or a professional surfer?
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“I went to Northwestern because I had gone to a really nontraditional high...”
–
my specialness is not appreciated in this place.
MY SPECIALNESS IS NOT APPRECIATED IN THIS PLACE
(zooey on her experience at Northwestern via)
OH MY GOD THIS IS THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORST
Also...
The more that I think about it, the more I realize that, based on my visceral reaction to anything shiny, I am basically the human equivalent of Jeremy from The Secret of NIMH:
Which is, you know, totally normal and mature and awesome.
Image via
Today In Things That Should Surprise No One
I really want this dress.
That’s all.
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My thoughts on the Golden Globes can be summed up...
And that word is:
SWINTON.
I mean, she looks like a cross between David Bowie and a cockatoo, and I fucking love it.
Image via
Last night, The Dude and I went with some friends to a legit Peking duck dinner, at Peking Duck House in Chinatown.
It was awesome. Well, it was awesome until we opened our fortune cookies at the end of the meal:
Translation: Don’t be such a glutton, you fat ass.
Aside from the brief realization of how strange it was to get this fortune from a restaurant that specializes in serving...
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“As freshmen at Missouri State University, Kate Foster and Sean Hogue had a...”
– Today’s New York Times Vows column.
Get it? “Whirlwind”?? Devastating tornado?!? Oh New York Times. You’re just the tops.
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“Last but not least, there is Aaron Carter. Wow. What to say about this kid:...”
– Max Silvestri, “Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook Off” Apocalypse
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That Whole "New Year's Resolutions" Thing
So, I sort of forgot to pick any resolutions for a while, since on New Year’s Eve, I was busy drinking copious amounts of alcohol at a random English pub called The Black Sheep in the middle of the jungle. Seriously, it was built in a house that looked like it could have belonged to Pablo Escobar on the outside but looked like this on the inside:
Yes, that is a British flag on the...
