May 2013
WatchWatch
ULTIMATE CAT FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP 2013 (At this point, I should probably start charging admission. Or at the very least put this on pay-per-view.)
May 20th
19 notes
1 tag
May 18th
57 notes
Exactly one month ago today, I woke up to a phone call. “Your brother is in the hospital. We don’t know what’s wrong. When can you come to Virginia?”  Nothing has been the same since then.  I spent those first few hours panicked, genuinely scared. There wasn’t any anger or resentment or stress. That came later. All I knew was that he was sick, and he needed to get...
May 17th
201 notes
REAL TALK
I’m not listening to any of you paleo diet motherfuckers until I see one of you kill a cow with a spear.
May 15th
263 notes
May 15th
46 notes
I figured out how to add my own text to gifs today, you guys.
May 13th
32 notes
May 13th
63 notes
Mother’s Day is hard this year. I feel badly even complaining, since my mother is alive and able to answer the phone when I called her this morning. So many people in the world don’t have that luxury. But it’s still hard this year. It’s hard for me, and harder for her. Our little dysfunctional family is more fragmented today, even though we are geographically closer than we’ve been in...
May 12th
99 notes
May 10th
56 notes
Required reading. 
May 9th
61 notes
May 8th
51 notes
1 tag
EXCLUSIVE MET BALL PHOTO
May 7th
50 notes
All of the references to Tumblr on last night's...
It’s really an uncanny resemblance, don’t you think?
May 6th
40 notes
Random Friday Thoughts
Creating a gallery wall in your apartment is an ideal form of procrastination. Those frames never hang straight. My life is basically one long search for a skinny mirror. My Bar Method studio is having teacher try outs to staff their forthcoming midtown location. I seriously thought about auditioning for exactly 0.32 seconds before nearly having an aneurysm from laughing so hard.  Microsoft...
May 3rd
44 notes
1 tag
Remove the words “in a movie” and you basically have my life, in gif format. 
May 2nd
29 notes
1 tag
May 1st
74 notes
May 1st
33 notes
April 2013
1 tag
West Village Co-op Sues City Over Bike Share... →
Well this was bound to happen. Disgruntled residents of a co-op at 99 Bank Street filed a lawsuit against the city and Department of Transportation over the placement of bike share racks on their street. DNAinfo reports that the property owners want a dock for 31 Citi Bikes to be removed from the corner of Bank and Hudson Streets. It was installed in the parking lane on the north side of Bank...
Apr 30th
29 notes
Anonymous asked: Newer blog reader, so sorry if this is common knowledge. How did you and the Dude meet? What's he like in a few words?
Apr 30th
48 notes
3 tags
Apr 29th
501 notes
Apr 29th
144 notes
My First In-N-Out Experience: A Play In Three Acts
Act I: Act II: Act III: 
Apr 29th
88 notes
Apr 25th
111 notes
Apr 25th
34 notes
In light of the sequester cancelling Fleet Week, I am currently taking suggestions for a sequestration-themed episode of Sex And The City.   So far, all I have is Carrie’s voice-over saying: “Meanwhile, uptown, Samantha was going through a different type of furlough,” as the camera cuts to Kim Cattrall fucking some dude on a sheepskin rug.  I think this really has potential,...
Apr 24th
59 notes
“[Paltrow] then goes on to divulge some secrets of her world-besting beauty,...”
– Richard Lawson, national treasure. 
Apr 24th
48 notes
ALERT JOE BIDEN IS IN TIMES SQUARE RIGHT NOW I REPEAT JOE BIDEN IS IN TIMES SQUARE RIGHT NOW ALSO I AM IN TIMES SQUARE RIGHT NOW THEREFORE THAT MEANS JOE BIDEN AND I ARE BOTH IN TIMES SQUARE RIGHT NOW THIS IS NOT A TEST
Apr 23rd
86 notes
Anonymous asked: lame question-- but can you please tell me some good resources for non-hideous lady briefcases? I find my internet researching just convinces me that these briefcase companies need to "lean in."
Apr 23rd
31 notes
Apr 22nd
52 notes
Apr 22nd
840 notes
Apr 21st
54 notes
It’s Been A Rough Week. Here’s A GIF Of Joe Biden... →
monkeychow: This has been an incredibly rough week. Joe Biden and his impeccable scarf game are here to help. ATTENTION JULIA! This GIF can get it. Nothing is better than this. The end.
Apr 19th
286 notes
REAL TALK
Everything fucking sucks. 
Apr 18th
56 notes
Apr 17th
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Apr 17th
53 notes
“Today, I will not play Find the Culprit. I don’t care whether it was political...”
– “The Wolfe”: My sister lives in Boston & put some words together about how her & her city are doing today. 
Apr 16th
75 notes
Apr 16th
119 notes
Nope, no reason. I just need this here. 
Apr 15th
27 notes
1 tag
I swear to god, if I ever move out of New York City, I am going to buy a car and LEAVE SO MUCH SHIT IN THE TRUNK. Because only in ~*~THE GREATEST CITY IN THE WORLD!!!1!~*~ would people put up with treating themselves like goddamn pack mules just so they could have everything they need for a normal day at work.  Although, I suppose that’s the trade-off you make for living in a place where...
Apr 15th
59 notes
Apr 13th
51 notes
1 tag
“Pants are awful for everyone everywhere, the smothering twin-tubed oppression...”
– Everyday Should be Saturday, On Pants 
Apr 12th
40 notes
Apr 12th
3,364 notes
1 tag
“There was a huge opportunity for Kate Spade to make this better, and now I feel...”
– Awesomeness Abounds: On Kate Spade: An update  “Sorry we were racist and treated you like a second class citizen. But here’s $300!” Nope, sorry Kate Spade. You’ve lost a lot of customers over this, and I’m one of them. 
Apr 11th
203 notes
Apr 11th
52 notes
Anonymous asked: There's an article on The Frisky with this quote from SC Justice Scalia I thought you might enjoy... “Every cloud has a silver lining, and one of the benefits of the exclusion of women from most professions was that we had wonderful teachers, especially the women who today would probably be CEOs.” Woof.
Apr 10th
40 notes
REAL TALK
“Eating Chipotle for lunch at my desk” should be considered just as valid of a reason to reschedule a meeting as “illness” or “family emergency.”
Apr 10th
51 notes
2 tags
“Of course all you young people should go out!”
– Hillary Rodham Clinton to Huma Abedin in August 2001, after Anthony Weiner asked HRC if Huma could have a night off. This quote is by far the best part of the entire article. 
Apr 10th
36 notes
I WAS GOING TO GO ON A RUN I SWEAR
But then I got work literally the second that I walked out the door, and now I’m done with my work but it’s 7:30 pm, and The Dude will be home soon, and if I go on a run and then shower afterwards I won’t eat dinner until like 8:45, so instead The Dude and I are just going to have dinner and cocktails on a patio somewhere.  PHYSICAL FITNESS
Apr 9th
81 notes
In another life, I will have...
An organized purse Long, skinny legs A perpetually clean bathroom A regular skincare routine  An organized closet A collection of well cared for and non-scuffed shoes Until then…
Apr 9th
85 notes
Apr 9th
3,977 notes