January 2012
36 posts
Sex Ed.
A: I went to a talk about life by the archbishop and now I feel badly for being on birth control.
Me: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? It is the smartest thing in the world that you can do for yourself. Unless you want a child with [guy she's been hooking up with].
A: I guess the real point is, like, don't have sex with people you probably don't want to have a kid with.
Me: Well that's just unrealistic.
A: Yeah. I can't have a child with him anyway. We're not Facebook friends. Plus he's Protestant from Northern Ireland. The only thing worse than that is the British.
Me: I think you are okay reserving judgment on whether to have a child with him until you are officially Facebook friends, religion aside.
A: Thanks.
A Fine Frenzy, Electric Twist
I didn’t NOT...
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Serious Question
Is there a travel website where you can say “I don’t know where I want to go but I am leaving from this location and I have these days to travel and I want to spend this much money on my flight,” and then it gives you different destination options for your price range?
(If not, I am TOTALLY calling dibs on this idea for after I finish up with this whole lawyer thing.)
But for...
umcanyounot asked: Would you rather be a lawyer or a professional surfer?
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“I went to Northwestern because I had gone to a really nontraditional high...”
–
my specialness is not appreciated in this place.
MY SPECIALNESS IS NOT APPRECIATED IN THIS PLACE
(zooey on her experience at Northwestern via)
OH MY GOD THIS IS THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORST
Also...
The more that I think about it, the more I realize that, based on my visceral reaction to anything shiny, I am basically the human equivalent of Jeremy from The Secret of NIMH:
Which is, you know, totally normal and mature and awesome.
Image via
Today In Things That Should Surprise No One
I really want this dress.
That’s all.
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My thoughts on the Golden Globes can be summed up...
And that word is:
SWINTON.
I mean, she looks like a cross between David Bowie and a cockatoo, and I fucking love it.
Image via
Last night, The Dude and I went with some friends to a legit Peking duck dinner, at Peking Duck House in Chinatown.
It was awesome. Well, it was awesome until we opened our fortune cookies at the end of the meal:
Translation: Don’t be such a glutton, you fat ass.
Aside from the brief realization of how strange it was to get this fortune from a restaurant that specializes in serving...
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“As freshmen at Missouri State University, Kate Foster and Sean Hogue had a...”
– Today’s New York Times Vows column.
Get it? “Whirlwind”?? Devastating tornado?!? Oh New York Times. You’re just the tops.
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“Last but not least, there is Aaron Carter. Wow. What to say about this kid:...”
– Max Silvestri, “Rachael vs. Guy: Celebrity Cook Off” Apocalypse
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That Whole "New Year's Resolutions" Thing
So, I sort of forgot to pick any resolutions for a while, since on New Year’s Eve, I was busy drinking copious amounts of alcohol at a random English pub called The Black Sheep in the middle of the jungle. Seriously, it was built in a house that looked like it could have belonged to Pablo Escobar on the outside but looked like this on the inside:
Yes, that is a British flag on the...
Oh, and so about that whole surfing thing:
I’m actually not half bad at it.
I don’t even know where to begin with telling you about my trip to Nosara. Because it was more than a trip, in the end. It was this thing, this experience, that became part of my own life, in a way that no trip ever has. It made me see a completely different way of living. No, not just see it, but really understand it, visualize it, anticipate myself living that way at some point in the...
Anonymous asked: Just the few photos you've posted already make me incredibly jealous of your trip. Who did you book the trip through?
GPOY-I Have No Idea What Day It Is
Here is a photo of someone who is happy to be on vacation:
And here is a photo of someone who is not happy to be back at work:
See the difference?
(Full vacation update and photos to come later, but for now I’ll just say that it was the TRIP OF A LIFETIME and that I ACTUALLY AM A PRETTY DECENT SURFER and that NEW YORK IS COLD AND TERRIBLE and I CANNOT WAIT TO GO BACK.)
December 2011
33 posts
bees-knees asked: Besides bloody marys and scotch, what is your favorite thing to drink? Also, what do you keep under your desk?
twodoxiesandtoomanyshoes asked: did you make a Christmas wishlist this year or leave everything up to chance?
.....and DONE.
I’ve been killing myself for the last week at work to finish everything before my vacation (where I am told I will have little to no Blackberry access, THANK GOD). But during the last hour, I reviewed my final set of documents, sent a brief to a partner, and turned on my out of office. So although I’m not leaving the office for another couple of hours, I am OFFICIALLY on vacation for...
The Two Best Responses* To Last Night's Top Chef:
1. Bobby Big Wheel’s Analysis of Heather’s Life Choices:
Lady Manderly says it’s difficult to have a relationship because she’s so “career focused” Yeah, that and you’re a bitch. That’s like saying “oh, I’m single because I’m too career driven and flesh eating bacteria ate away my face”
2. Videogum Gabe’s Explanation of the Quick Fire Challenge:
This week, Top Chef fans...
Obligatory "Sorry for the Lack of Posts" Post
But I have so much shit to do between now and Friday, I just put “exchange christmas gifts with The Dude” on my to-do list. Because I will forget to do that otherwise.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, Y’ALL.
Today in Topical Yet Still Idiotic Facebook Status...
WAS IT NATURAL OR DID HE GO LIKE THAT LYBIAN LEADER MOMAR GUY
Thought Catalog | A Speculative List of Jay Z's 99... →
35. Still unable to get through Joyce’s Ulysses; currently on his fourth attempt; contributes to an insecurity that holds he’s “not good enough” and “not intellectual.”
36. Three-week long stalemate with Beyonce regarding a particular baby name.
This is perfect.
(via Meg)
Old Crow Medicine Show, Wagon Wheel
At the office...
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Today in Idiotic Facebook Status Updates
[Redacted] ate a banana and now plans to eat an orange. i plan on using the bathroom with ease…OH YEAH!!!!!!
Happy opposite-of-Smile-Friday, folks.